Safe & Secure Blog

December 13, 2008

Thieves leave Tracks - Follow the footprints in the snow

Filed under: Just a little fun to Start your Day — Donna @ 12:49 pm

Beware if your deliver Pizza delevery guy.

While 4 young teens thought they were smart. But they forgot their was snow on the ground.

Police say 2 teens waited on the porch for the delivery to arrive while two other teens waited for the guy to arrive holding a bat.

$200.00, soda and two pizza boxes and the delivery guys debit card and a bat were found at the house that the police tracked by footprints.

Let this be a lesson to you thieves Think before you order Pizza

September 10, 2008

Criminals Mind Work Just a little fun for today

Filed under: Just a little fun to Start your Day — Donna @ 4:45 pm

How Criminal minds work. This is a funny

An old Italian man lived alone in NJ. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in Prison.

The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,

I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here, my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me like in the old days.

Love Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son:

Dear Pop,
Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried.

Love Vinny

At 4 am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. The same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Pop,

Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now.

That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love You Vinnie.

This is funny please leave any comments and pass to anyone you know

August 11, 2008

Women Over 40 Andy Rooney

Filed under: Just a little fun to Start your Day — Donna @ 7:11 am

Women Over 40 by Andy Rooney

Now this guy is really funny and I love the face he has while I am laughing he is keeping a calm face. In case you missed this if your over 40 you need to read this and know at least someone has paid attention to us.

Guys let’s just say that when your better half gets to be 40 they have a mind of their own and deal with things better then you thought they would. Here is Andy Rooney 60 Minute Keep up the great work
Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match
with you at the opera or in the middle of an
expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve
it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you if they
think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved.
They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have
to confess your sins to a woman over 40.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over
40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest.
They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk if
you are acting like one. You don’t ever have to
wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons.
Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every
stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40,
there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants
making a fool of himself with some 22-year old
waitress.

Ladies, I apologize.For all those men who say,
‘Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?’,
here’s an update for you.

Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage.
Why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying
an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

Thanks Andy we need to know someone is looking out for us Thanks

Let me know what you think on the comment box

Women over 40, women,

March 8, 2008

ALLIGATORS IN THE POOL

Filed under: Just a little fun to Start your Day — Donna @ 8:29 am

A CEO throwing a party takes his executives on a tour of his opulent mansion. In the back of the property, the CEO has the largest swimming pool any of them has ever seen. The huge pool, however, is filled with hungry alligators. The CEO says to his executives “I think an executive should be measured by courage. Courage is what made me CEO. So this is my challenge to each of you: if anyone has enough courage to dive into the pool, swim through those alligators, and make it to the other side, I will give that person anything they desire. My job, my money, my house, anything!”
Everyone laughs at the outrageous offer and proceeds to follow the CEO on the tour of the estate. Suddenly, they hear a loud splash. Everyone turns around and sees the CFO (Chief Financial Officer) in the pool, swimming for his life. He dodges the alligators left and right and makes it to the edge of the pool with seconds to spare. He pulls himself out just as a huge alligator snaps at his shoes.
The flabbergasted CEO approaches the CFO and says, “You are amazing. I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. You are brave beyond measure and anything I own is yours. Tell me what I can do for you.

The CFO, panting for breath, looks up and says, “You can tell me who the hell pushed me in the pool!”

This is one of my favorite.

911 Funny Stories

Filed under: Just a little fun to Start your Day — Donna @ 8:27 am

Dispatcher: 911
Caller: Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath. Darn….I think I’m going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I’m at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.

http://www.onlyfunnystories.com/Real911calls.asp

This is just to start your day off with a smile it’s funny.

Check back to see what I find funny

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